vancouver
My Shift is Over
okay, okay
I walked home after work
thinking about payday
wondering if I just stayed an extra hour would it all be worth it
but I get on the bus and forget it
on to the next one
worrying about real problems
what’s left now that I have no responsibility
only room to eat
nothing else is worthy
my friend calls me
and asks if we can meet
it’s only six thirty
and I haven’t even watched any TV
I need my fix of youtube still
and maybe watch a movie
my nights don’t start until around nine
and then I go to sleep at two
and wake up early
and complain about my dreams
can’t even get out of bed
all I want is to rest just a little while longer
forget about the hunger
and close my eyes to black
living while dead
I know you’ve never heard of that
but it works real well in the end
when your sitting by yourself
and you don’t have anymore friends
I heard your youngest child doesn’t like you
and your hurt
well I don’t know anyone who likes their parents
I don’t know what that observation is worth
my mother called me yesterday
and said I haven’t been home in a while
I said if I wanted to hear complaining
I’d hang out with one of my friends in a relationship
and see all of the things I’d hate to deal with
and I love the way she says oooh ooooh
on that Spaceship track
I might be a dropout but I never said I wanted any of that
you give me advice
but I never complained about anything
you tell me I’m miserable
but you’ve never seen my without a smile
sometimes it takes a long time to finish a poem
and I just don’t have the patience
I wanna get it all out in one stream
like I’m puking out my feelings
not the best simile
but then I’m not the greatest poet
I just hope you understand me and for those who feel the same way
at least you got it
I don’t expect to change the world or sell out the stores
most people won’t ever read my words
or maybe like Van Gogh I’ll be famous after I’m dead
but I don’t like living in fantasies
I’m just happy writing what I wish I had said
Standing Still Amidst The Chaos 