FVCK TITLES: No, This Is The Title

words break hearts, start holocausts, give orders to kill, save people
there is no such thing as magic
there is no such thing as magic
regret
I feel regret
if I don’t do this then, dot dot dot
if I jumped then, no dots
postponing my graduation because I’m too scared of threats
flying is scary but falling seems nice
open
trying to keep my mind like a cup
but the water always overflows by the time I pick it up
I saw her the other day
first time in more than three years
she didn’t say anything but I know she saw me
probably thought about me
that’s why she looked angry and turned around so I wouldn’t see her
but it’s too late and she could move somewhere else but she doesn’t do that either
I hope this is interesting
I always ask questions about what people would want to read
like I really care when I already think I write what you need
and I write what sounds good
you can’t say my lines don’t flow like Iggy Azalea does
I’ll paint a thousand pictures of multiple orgasms in your mind if I could
this is a revolution in the way poetry makes a living
no more interpretations
no more metaphors or words to look up in the dictionary
I keep it simple like Kanye
that’s the only way to penetrate your heart like an A bomb on Nagasaki
sorry
I mean that’s the only way to get through to you like when you listen to Drake and say he should be your homie
and things are so hard right now
I need a minute just to calm down
take a shot of Johnny Walker
let it sit for a bit and then I’m a little better
I can drive again without having to pull over
can we get another shot of whiskey here waiter?
can’t we just stay in, baby, and sleep here?
listen to my friends who all say I’m queer
like what the fuck am I supposed to do
when no one listens or cares they only wanna talk about you
giving advice on what they’d do if they were in my shoes
if you like my life so much I wish we could trade
and you could spend all your time living it up your way
I guess we wouldn’t feel the same
I guess it’s just a real shame
one man’s life is another man’s treasure
one man’s worse is another man’s better
one idea of mine led me to a lifetime of not wanting to be here
maybe this poem is too long
how many words does the average person read?
hopped off the plane yesterday and now people don’t give me any room to breathe
I have a list of things I need to get done before I can even leave
again with all the bullshit I shoulda never came back
just faced my fear and stay alive with open eyes
making your way back when you’ve walked so far
trying to make my mind listen when my feelings are closed off
I’m doing everything inside my head
looking at the world through glass it’s easy to pick out a path
picturing every move like a master of chess
sorry
like a pro at Tekken
reading every page of all my books
don’t stop in case I might get stuck
look at me I might give up
just another day of fight or run
picture Jay-Z saying those last four lines
I don’t know how to wrap this up
a girl ran away the other day, add that to the growing list
the sun is gonna explode
the universe will collapse
all life will end
is that too big?  too much?
everything is gonna be over eventually
question everything
I feel like time is running out while writing this
I always look for some quote to end on that will really make you think
and talk about some universal truth
“stop looking”
even though I know you won’t
and most of you will ask what that means

I didn’t mean to ramble…my streams of consciousness

let it all out don’t hold anything in like your vomiting again and you had too much to drink so your thoughts can’t stay in so you speak and people tell you to be quiet you just keep going hoping somebody will listen and ask you to repeat it so when you take the stage and they ask for your name you say forget it it’s not important i can only hope they will listen and sacrifice like i have but most likely they won’t even question anyone like i have they will live their lives like they have and not pay any attention to what might have happened off the court and off the papers only looking for what they see with eyes that are wearing glasses painted with money and so i just decided to let the bomb go clear the room and start a new show this is a new beginning extraterrestrial and i am an alien and we are taking over this is the end independence day for a new generation bring the martian saviors and open the doors to your salvation we are mining the earth for ore and bringing it back to god’s station refining the metals into angelic bodies glistening in the light of the sun what a beautiful sensation

Costume of skin

dancing in odd configurations
I see the virgin mary
I hope she heard my confession
gyrations on a dance floor
only at night
in the morning it’s the street corner
never holding myself back
always on full out attack
they prowl around my mind
asking me when is it time

#NaPoWriMo Day 14: Am I drunk right now?

the bottom of bottles
make for friends who listen
they take in all your worries
and drown them
only to wake up in the morning
hoping they were lost
but you found them
huddling in a corner of your mind
where they waited in darkness
until you woke up and your dreams
gave way to the sparks that
started the process
of thinking

They Need An Answer: Written in 45 seconds

I am the writer of my own ending
but I don’t know what to write
a perfect time for writers block
and there isn’t much time left before time is up
and people come and say to me
“what will you decide?”
and I tell them
“I don’t even know the question”
a thousand possible choices
and a thousand choices after those choices
in a never ending cycle of thought
except when I try not to think about it
and instead I drink and stay up watching movies
late nights filled with meditation
and writing poems that just confirm the feelings
but do nothing about them
lost and drowning in my mind
looking for an answer
because the world isn’t satisfied
with the one I gave her