Losing Fluid

exhalations, teamwork, temptations

“Oh my fucking God!”

screaming, sucking

swallowing

Cutting Inhibitions

Best Friends: We Share Everything

It was hard in the beginning

I couldn’t believe what I was feeling

seeing her with you had me second guessing

but I knew I wouldn’t do nothing

but that didn’t stop the direction my mind was facing

I thought about her and me

and fantasized about what it would be like for one night

but then I came back to reality

and realized what I was thinking wasn’t right

because you’re my best friend

and she’s your lover

but I can’t help but feel good when I hug her

and I can’t help but love to be looking at her

and I never told you I felt this way

I just waited until the feelings passed away

I know they’re wrong

but you can’t control your feelings

I just always stay focused on not causing any suffering

and now they’re gone

back to where they came from

all without any explanation

and we can go back to the way it was

nothing between us

Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Lov. Lov. Lov. Lo. Lo. Lo. L. L…..

you’ve mutilated the one thing that means anything

and transformed the definition to serve your ambitions

a slave to your desires

you can’t see past your eyes

locked behind the cage in your mind surrounded by mesh wires

the one thing that causes everything

the reason we kill ourselves

the why behind our addictions

tonight I’m on a divine mission

cutting down your thoughts

distilling your sight into a single vision

watching reality as it is

as we sit together in this moment

look at her

and then yourself

you say you love her

but you only feel yourself

you want her to be happy

but you’re afraid to see her with somebody else

and that baby you carry

as a reason for being married

saying you love them

but never asked the thing if it wanted to be created

maybe that’s why Eve gave the apple to Adam

maybe that’s why we all sin

as a fuck you to creation

and if God is here then fuck him too

claiming his work is based on good principles

all your love is too small

barely reaching past your skin

maybe if we all just sat together

maybe you’d love a stranger then

before I get lost in what ifs

let me just say there’s never much time left

l-o-v-e

what does it mean

when you think about it what do you see

a genuine feeling of compassion for every being

an openness with arms stretched wide

not running anywhere, no need to hide

walking together

being alone and not searching for another

I’m trying to find a definition

without relying on the selfishness of fathers and mothers

but that’s exactly what everyone does and it leads us no farther

in getting to the heart of loving truly and better

love exists only in our bodies as a tingling feeling

in our minds as a thought

if you believe in anything else be aware of the snake oil you bought

love is a word

I’m not even sure if it’s real

but I know what I think

and I know what I feel

but it would be a mistake to label them as something special

as something that comes from someone else when they sit inside us alone

we can only ever love ourselves and hate ourselves

there are no eternals

there are no universals

fucked up, spinning around in space, chasing dreams floating around in our minds, and feeling our bodies

 

 

Family Ties

Verse 1:
give it all up
all the money was never enough
I love the chase
I love passing through just to get another taste
I want it all
open it up wide and empty myself out
nothing left
I can’t even take another step

Chorus:
and I still love them
even if they never thought of me as a brother
I just hope when
they look back on the others
they know I’m family in the end

Verse 2:
family is my bloodline
since we all share the same DNA
I see no difference in yours or mine
all my brothers and sisters I love them
even if they never call me on weekends
even if they look at me like a stranger
I’d still throw them the keys to the Rover
if they needed money I wouldn’t hesitate
a love like this is more than you can say
whatever promises you offer
don’t compare to what I gave

Chorus:
and I still love them
even if they never thought of me as a brother
I just hope when
they look back on the others
they know I’m family in the end

Verse 3:
follow the bloodprints
from the door to the kitchen
what I’m cookin’ isn’t fluent
but who is when they speakin’
all my friends came over yesterday
I showed them old photographs of us playin’
and they smiled and laughed
before pickin’ up their bags
and saying they needed to catch a flight
with a connection in London staying overnight
even though they’re leaving
they’ll always be with me
I can’t say the same for their feelings

Chorus (2x):
and I still love them
even if they never thought of me as a brother
I just hope when
they look back on the others
they know I’m family in the end

Gold Pussy

FVCK TITLES: No, This Is The Title

words break hearts, start holocausts, give orders to kill, save people
there is no such thing as magic
there is no such thing as magic
regret
I feel regret
if I don’t do this then, dot dot dot
if I jumped then, no dots
postponing my graduation because I’m too scared of threats
flying is scary but falling seems nice
open
trying to keep my mind like a cup
but the water always overflows by the time I pick it up
I saw her the other day
first time in more than three years
she didn’t say anything but I know she saw me
probably thought about me
that’s why she looked angry and turned around so I wouldn’t see her
but it’s too late and she could move somewhere else but she doesn’t do that either
I hope this is interesting
I always ask questions about what people would want to read
like I really care when I already think I write what you need
and I write what sounds good
you can’t say my lines don’t flow like Iggy Azalea does
I’ll paint a thousand pictures of multiple orgasms in your mind if I could
this is a revolution in the way poetry makes a living
no more interpretations
no more metaphors or words to look up in the dictionary
I keep it simple like Kanye
that’s the only way to penetrate your heart like an A bomb on Nagasaki
sorry
I mean that’s the only way to get through to you like when you listen to Drake and say he should be your homie
and things are so hard right now
I need a minute just to calm down
take a shot of Johnny Walker
let it sit for a bit and then I’m a little better
I can drive again without having to pull over
can we get another shot of whiskey here waiter?
can’t we just stay in, baby, and sleep here?
listen to my friends who all say I’m queer
like what the fuck am I supposed to do
when no one listens or cares they only wanna talk about you
giving advice on what they’d do if they were in my shoes
if you like my life so much I wish we could trade
and you could spend all your time living it up your way
I guess we wouldn’t feel the same
I guess it’s just a real shame
one man’s life is another man’s treasure
one man’s worse is another man’s better
one idea of mine led me to a lifetime of not wanting to be here
maybe this poem is too long
how many words does the average person read?
hopped off the plane yesterday and now people don’t give me any room to breathe
I have a list of things I need to get done before I can even leave
again with all the bullshit I shoulda never came back
just faced my fear and stay alive with open eyes
making your way back when you’ve walked so far
trying to make my mind listen when my feelings are closed off
I’m doing everything inside my head
looking at the world through glass it’s easy to pick out a path
picturing every move like a master of chess
sorry
like a pro at Tekken
reading every page of all my books
don’t stop in case I might get stuck
look at me I might give up
just another day of fight or run
picture Jay-Z saying those last four lines
I don’t know how to wrap this up
a girl ran away the other day, add that to the growing list
the sun is gonna explode
the universe will collapse
all life will end
is that too big?  too much?
everything is gonna be over eventually
question everything
I feel like time is running out while writing this
I always look for some quote to end on that will really make you think
and talk about some universal truth
“stop looking”
even though I know you won’t
and most of you will ask what that means

Doing It Wrong Remix

when a good thing goes bad
it’s just what was suppposed to happen
like when you said I’d never be anything
and I secretly started rappin
it went from missed calls to no more texts
and then the only time you came over was for sex
and then you never came
you said you hated umbrellas you don’t wanna get wet
and then I saw you and told you I left you a voicemail
you said you saw it but I know you didn’t even check
and then I saw you with him and you saw me but didn’t even stress
you turned away and looked at him and he gave a smile like he was blessed
why even tell me you were thinking about it when your mind was made
I wouldn’t have spent all this time thinking of all the right things to say
and that chance to fly down to toronto I would have took it
I wouldn’t have stayed

It’s always a sad story

wake me up when the story is over
I don’t need no happy ending
just make sure I’m sober
just lookin at that alcohol has my stomach in knots
say yes to another drink when I know I cannot
handle any more poison
your words are venom in my thoughts
everytime we argue I tell you what you did
and you always say you forgot
but your sorry and you’ll never do it again
until the very next week when you hang up on me again
back at one it’s like brian mcknight on repeat
and when we meet up you leave the car
have me chasing you down the street
and then I’ll say anything to have you back in your seat
I never cared about winning I just wanted you even if I had to admit defeat
and if I knew you would hold everything against me and keep score
I would have never pulled you back and kissed you outside your door

Lies

what use is telling the truth now
honesty only counts if you’re coming home now
if I don’t get to feel it now
then I’ll say whatever it takes to get you off the phone now

everybody whispering has me so down
I just stare but can’t read between the lips
the only time you would shut up is when we would kiss
now my friends sit around
throwing around names like they were up for auction
but they don’t really know my condition
I guarantee you my heart will lead to their destruction
but they never run out of trying to give me options

#NaPoWriMo Day 30: The Last

the last that you ever seen
even when I’m on your team
and you can’t get enough of
this new thing
I am music
this is new shit
and i am not stupid
trying to teach all the youngsters
how to do this
they ask me
how do I become classy
and not so nasty
I told them to keep writing
and whatever they hear is just fine
no need to waste time deciding on
a fancy rhyme
all you need is a verse that detonates
the line and whips apart peoples minds
can this be real the way it is
or do we just not know the truth about
the way out