Buyer Beware

Roll up all the dreams of men with no filter

Spark the wick and wait for prayers floating on smoke to enter

It takes time to create something that’s better

and sometimes that time can seem like forever

This is art

a wise old man told me that one day I would be free
I told him I don’t think about the future
I can’t even stand this culture
weaving through four lanes of traffic just to arrive at a giant arena made of metal and plastic
I can’t seem to handle all the stress
of living while working weeks on end
I can’t work for forty years
I always have to explain myself
to be understood by others when there is really nothing to say
just a thought
a conversation that comes to mind and makes me turn the wrong way
are these enigmas that I write too complicated for you to understand my plight
poetry is for everybody
no reason to make it complicated
I hate children
I think I’ve said that before
and I hope the world ends tomorrow
my true feelings can’t be shared because they’ll put me in jail for conspiracy
theories are just theories
everybody has theirs and I don’t even think about what I’m going to eat

FVCK TITLES: No, This Is The Title

words break hearts, start holocausts, give orders to kill, save people
there is no such thing as magic
there is no such thing as magic
regret
I feel regret
if I don’t do this then, dot dot dot
if I jumped then, no dots
postponing my graduation because I’m too scared of threats
flying is scary but falling seems nice
open
trying to keep my mind like a cup
but the water always overflows by the time I pick it up
I saw her the other day
first time in more than three years
she didn’t say anything but I know she saw me
probably thought about me
that’s why she looked angry and turned around so I wouldn’t see her
but it’s too late and she could move somewhere else but she doesn’t do that either
I hope this is interesting
I always ask questions about what people would want to read
like I really care when I already think I write what you need
and I write what sounds good
you can’t say my lines don’t flow like Iggy Azalea does
I’ll paint a thousand pictures of multiple orgasms in your mind if I could
this is a revolution in the way poetry makes a living
no more interpretations
no more metaphors or words to look up in the dictionary
I keep it simple like Kanye
that’s the only way to penetrate your heart like an A bomb on Nagasaki
sorry
I mean that’s the only way to get through to you like when you listen to Drake and say he should be your homie
and things are so hard right now
I need a minute just to calm down
take a shot of Johnny Walker
let it sit for a bit and then I’m a little better
I can drive again without having to pull over
can we get another shot of whiskey here waiter?
can’t we just stay in, baby, and sleep here?
listen to my friends who all say I’m queer
like what the fuck am I supposed to do
when no one listens or cares they only wanna talk about you
giving advice on what they’d do if they were in my shoes
if you like my life so much I wish we could trade
and you could spend all your time living it up your way
I guess we wouldn’t feel the same
I guess it’s just a real shame
one man’s life is another man’s treasure
one man’s worse is another man’s better
one idea of mine led me to a lifetime of not wanting to be here
maybe this poem is too long
how many words does the average person read?
hopped off the plane yesterday and now people don’t give me any room to breathe
I have a list of things I need to get done before I can even leave
again with all the bullshit I shoulda never came back
just faced my fear and stay alive with open eyes
making your way back when you’ve walked so far
trying to make my mind listen when my feelings are closed off
I’m doing everything inside my head
looking at the world through glass it’s easy to pick out a path
picturing every move like a master of chess
sorry
like a pro at Tekken
reading every page of all my books
don’t stop in case I might get stuck
look at me I might give up
just another day of fight or run
picture Jay-Z saying those last four lines
I don’t know how to wrap this up
a girl ran away the other day, add that to the growing list
the sun is gonna explode
the universe will collapse
all life will end
is that too big?  too much?
everything is gonna be over eventually
question everything
I feel like time is running out while writing this
I always look for some quote to end on that will really make you think
and talk about some universal truth
“stop looking”
even though I know you won’t
and most of you will ask what that means

Terrorism or Revelation?

Finding something that just sounds perfect
sounds perfect but it’s so hard to hit the right notes
words don’t always arrive the same way they left and sometimes they get lost like a ship at sea
how do I rearrange my thoughts to keep me on course
I listen to music to focus my eyes on the line but it’s more than just about the line
it’s about each syllable
and each page
from images to paper
translation becomes a task of understanding yourself
when I open the dictionary I find the keys to my soul
they give my thoughts power and weight
I can say illusion and you know I’m talking about something fake
I can say fake and you know I’m talking about most of my life
when I was a child I used to think my life was like The Truman Show
silly thoughts thought some that were produced by an imagination in overdrive
daydreaming worlds of me and a princess flying on a magic carpet
flying through the city streets at night as a superhero what was I thinking?
who would want that responsibility?
I want to move but have nowhere to go and everytime I point myself in a direction everybody says I’m going the wrong way

Leaders and gurus and kings and businessmen

we don’t even know where we came from
but you wanna tell me how to live my life
and what to do now that I’ve come
we are confused
just admit it’s so
and we can all go on
living free and not worrying anymore
I’m not holding myself back anymore
it’s time to be a priest
and shed some light on all the wicked beasts
that prey on the believers
just looking for something to eat
when they need love
but all you give them are hugs
and tell them to shut up
when they can easily turn around
and leave and never come back up
because there’s freedom down there
and they don’t need your pricey air
everything you want is free
as long as you just want to be
picking apart the laws of the land
and taking a stand
I step back and look over the people
that thought we had reached some
pinnacle or sensation of living
when all we had come to was a false
sense of salvation
a temporary ending
with a horrible beginning

#NaPoWriMo Day 28: blank

an animal is an animal
and the earth is the earth
nobody complains when they’re
doing their work
but when I do this instead of that
they want to bring me down
sit inside a box they made
they think I act like a clown
you can’t be who you are
they want you to be like them
there’s only so much I can take
before I have to break out again
I can’t keep my heart in
I put it on a chain and when
I walk it bounces around
I tried putting it on my sleeves
but then I left a trail of blood on the ground
and they said why do I have to bleed so much
I told them I wish I wasn’t so fucked up
if you don’t like how it is then
don’t believe that you’re stuck
you can leave and I’ll be fine
sitting in my sunshine
when you commit fraud
you have to pay the fine
it might seem like a good idea at the time
but can you wear that mask for a lifetime

#NaPoWriMo Day 26: I Like Bukowski

water fills all the empty spaces
and the sky isn’t open when I take pictures of it

how many days before I can finally look at the sun
do I have to wait at home until the day is done

I walk sideways so people know I am weird
and I talk in whispers so people need to be close to hear

#NaPoWriMo Day 14: Am I drunk right now?

the bottom of bottles
make for friends who listen
they take in all your worries
and drown them
only to wake up in the morning
hoping they were lost
but you found them
huddling in a corner of your mind
where they waited in darkness
until you woke up and your dreams
gave way to the sparks that
started the process
of thinking

Words

Dawn to twilight
there’s soon to be no light left
but what we share never decreases
and this thing is real
but don’t call it that
you’ll just tear it to pieces

They Need An Answer: Written in 45 seconds

I am the writer of my own ending
but I don’t know what to write
a perfect time for writers block
and there isn’t much time left before time is up
and people come and say to me
“what will you decide?”
and I tell them
“I don’t even know the question”
a thousand possible choices
and a thousand choices after those choices
in a never ending cycle of thought
except when I try not to think about it
and instead I drink and stay up watching movies
late nights filled with meditation
and writing poems that just confirm the feelings
but do nothing about them
lost and drowning in my mind
looking for an answer
because the world isn’t satisfied
with the one I gave her